Games > Action > Sumoblitz > More Info Server List
Action
GyojiBot commands your presence in the ring.
Description

FAQs

Screenshots
Sumoblitz features
  • Dominate weak and inferior Sumo Drones
  • Suffer humiliating defeat by superior Sumo Drones
  • Appease GyojiBot
  • Accept your fate

Description

We know that the humans wrestled, like us, and that their wrestling took many forms.

We know, also, that to distinguish themselves from the beasts of their world, the humans felt compelled to disguise their wrestling within the rudimentary political and social constructs of their era. For example, they did not use an energy ring, as we use: instead they built 'Houses of Parliament', arenas of stone, within which opposing choirs chanted ballads of hate to drive each other from sight.

We believe, also, that humans judged weak of mind were forced to compete in electrically-transmitted displays of debased social wrestling: human documents of the time describe these 'reality shows' in torturous and harrowing detail, and you may learn about them elsewhere.

Colleagues, I digress.

Historical records have taught us that - as late as the 24th century - the human heads of state settled conflicts by practising wrestling in its purest, physical form. They called this practice Sumo, as we do, and its mechanics were much the same as our own Sumo.

Their technology was primitive, of course. Documents teach that their 'energy field' was an imaginary one, and its effects were not fatal. Their ring was round and their contestants were square; for us it is - as it should be - the other way around.

But today, I ask you to consider that much of accepted Sumo history is still based on our ancestors' first interpretations of tomes found beneath the Cambridge University Library ruins - over 300 timeslices ago.

It is time, I propose, to consider an alternative scenario - a scenario for which I intend to present compelling evidence today. A scenario that, if made public knowledge, would confound even the quick wit of KosokuBot or the probing mind of SosakuBot.

For it is my earnest belief that, for the humans, Sumo was just a game.

FAQs

1. Who is GyojiBot?

I keep six honest serving men.
They taught me all I knew;
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and GyojiBot.

2. Can I see GyojiBot?

No, GyojiBot can see you.

3. Why does GyojiBot hate me?

GyojiBot does not hate you: he merely loves the pattern of light you emit as you perish. Make haste to evade his loving gaze.

4. Why are all the FAQs about GyojiBot?

GyojiBot commands it.

5. What are the minimum specifications for this game?

The minimum specifications we recommend for this game are:

  • 500 Mhz P4 processor or equivalent
  • 128 MB RAM

The recommended specifications for getting the most out of this game are:

  • 1.5 GHz P4 processor or equivalent
  • 256 MB RAM
  • GyojiBot

Below is an explanation of the terms in our technical specifications.

Megahertz (MHz) / Gigahertz (GHz) is a measure of how fast your computer's processor is. This affects how quickly you can run things like games and applications.

Megabytes (MB) are used to measure how much memory your computer has. This affects how quickly your computer runs when using large programs such as games, or when you run a lot of programs at once.

Click here to get the latest version of Sun Java.

FunOrb Members' Benefits

Members get:

  • Fullscreen mode.
  • No adverts during gameplay.
  • GyojiBot watches you while you sleep.

Development Team

Development: Mel H
Design and QA: Michael T
Original concept and prototype: Bill R
Graphics: Jess H, Jamie S, David H and Adam S
Audio: Grace D
Writing and GyojiBot character: Gabriel M, with thanks to Ben D, Chihiro Y and Laura W for the Japanese bot names
Translation: Heiko J and Gesine P (German), Linda H and Thomas LM (French), and Daniel F (Portuguese)
Translation QA: Matthias P (German), Thomas LM (French) and Claudio D C (Portuguese)

GyojiBot loves you.